My naturally perky demeanor gets in the way of sense sometimes.
So "Swag Surfin" comes on in The Club and I start swag surfin behind the bar because I love that song. It reminds me of the absolutely amazing time I had after graduation at Love with all of my friends.
After Swag Surfin, I found myself in an immense amount of pain and I had to sit down and start taking long breaks between working. And then I had to leave and go home early =( You know I've got a problem when I leave work early; I love making money too much to just pass it up like that. And we only had an hour left! But I was starting to get annoyed with people, so I doubt I would've picked up that many more tips anyway...
Annoying Quotes of the Night:
(1) I ask a guy what he wants and he replies: "those coconuts in a glass."
"Excuse me?" I arched an eyebrow.
"Those coconuts in a glass." Sensing that I was not amused by his wit, he backtracked. "I'm just joking."
(2) Then, when I was sitting off to the side, obviously in pain, some loud-mouthed female customer motioned over to me, *smile.*
I shook my head sadly, giving a little half-smile. The universal indication for: this is not a good night, and plastering a fake smile on my face is about the last thing I want to do.
"Wake up!" she hollered over to me.
This was too much. I went over to her. "See... I ruptured one of my internal organs and I've got a huge bubble of air pressed up against my liver right now."
"Well fart, girl, fart!"
Ignorant bitch; I don't have gas! The problem is that the bubble of air is NOT enclosed in a system and I have to wait until my cells absorb it.
Before I Ruined My Night, It Was Fun Though...
We had a luau-themed party for one of the dancer's birthday. The club looked really nice. And I donned a bikini top, lei, short and a hula skirt for the occasion. I looked really nice =)
And we had all-you-can-eat food. It was bomb! Soul food, Thai food, Caribbean food... all of it. All you can eat. Yums.
And! My crush was there =) I mean, it probably won't come to anything at all, given that I'm moving, but I still just like looking at him while he's here. I actually didn't tell him I liked him until we were both partying at a club after graduation, and my slightly intoxicated self just leaned over and said, "before we never see each other again, I just have to tell you that I think you're really attractive. And smart." And he said, "we'll see each other again," and whipped out his celly. And we have seen each other since, but again... I'm moving. Next lifetime, maybe?
PS... I wonder if this can be considered flirting (with someone else, although if My Crush had said it, I would've said the same thing!):
I pour someone's coke in their chaser glass and their Jack in the accompanying shot glass.
"Do you want it mixed?" I asked.
He nodded, then looked at the almost full chaser glass. "It won't fit," he told me.
"Yes it will."
I poured, and voila! Lo and behold, the shot fit in the almost-full glass.
"I've got experience with this type of thing," I winked.
PPS... I'm going to need Dallas to stop touching me when he tips me. He reached out to put $3 in my bikini top. I immediately folded my arms over my chest. "Uh-uh. Nope. Put it in my hand or the bucket."
He continued to reach out in the direction of my breasts with the money.
"My hand or the bucket!" I held my hand out.
He reached for the waistband of my skirt. He stuffed one dollar on my hip, another slightly more inwards, to which I opened my mouth to reply, "hey! You're getting a little too close there!" And another nearer to above my ass. "Oka-ay..." I said. He smiled a lecherous old man smile and walked away. Shudder.
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:
I think my favorite quote of the night though, was again, from my boss. I think I have one of the only jobs where your boss can look at you and say:
"You got young titties."
And it's not sexual harassment. I laughed and replied:
"That's what my mom says."
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