If You Like Her, You Should TIP (Not Touch) Her
So, one of the dancers tonight had a problem with a customer who kept trying to touch her inappropriately while tipping her (you're not allowed to touch at all in DC strip clubs. No touching, no lapdances). Instead of getting off of the stage or actually saying something to the DJ/security, she just gave them looks and expected that they would do something/say something to the man.
It's been my experience that subtlety just doesn't work with most (read: all) men. If you want a man to do something, you can't drop hints... you have to say, "I want you to get this drunk fool who keeps cursing at me and trying to touch me away from me!" So after the DJ finally noticed that she might've been in distress (the 3rd time ol' dude came by her stage acting belligerent), she jumped off stage in a huff, yelling about how she was disrespected and the DJ/security wasn't worth the money they were paid.
Then, later, the same dancer had another instance where a different customer tried to tip her by placing a dollar bill on top of her "sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten" (OPP - Naughty By Nature) and pressing down on a very sensitive spot. Instead of getting huffy and indignant, she turned around and gave a coy smile, wagging her finger, all "ah-ah-ah!" like. Hmm. =/
Look Around. Where Are You? A Strip Club... So Be Prepared to Spend Money.
I understand that our liquor prices are ridiculous, but I mean, really. If you come in here asking for $40 in ones, clearly you're prepared to drop forty singles on a naked woman that's not going home with you. Why are you about to be a cheapskate when it comes to buying liquor?
This man asked me the prices for every damn thing behind the bar.
"How much is plain gin?"
"How much is Tanqueray?"
"Bacardi?"
"How much is a shot?"
"How much is Grand Marnier?"
"Henny?"
"Beer?"
"A drink?"
I don't think people realize how bloody annoying they are when they do that. Just GET WHAT YOU WANT and stop being such a MISER in the CLUB. I don't know, maybe it's a personal thing, but I get REALLY annoyed at people who are extra concerned over price when they go out. Like... you went out to enjoy yourself, so do what you want! Being hung up over dollar signs is pretty much the most annoying thing you can do when/if you go out with me. Tell me... what sense does it make when:
-You really want Bacardi and Coke ($8.25), but you decide it's too expensive, so you ask what the cheaper rum is...
-The cheaper rum is Ronrigo Rum (who the hell is Ronrigo?) and it costs $7... you HATE the taste of Ronrigo, so....
-You settle for a Heineken (also $7), but one beer doesn't give you the same buzz as one shot, so you...
-COME BACK, for another beer (also $7)
Well damn, if you cared about price THAT much, for 2 beers and tipping me twice ($18) you could've had 2 Bacardi and Cokes, 2 whiskey sours, a rocks drink or a tall mixed drink (and doubled your buzz). Nonsensical.
We Are Not Friends.
If I had to name a waitress that's my least favorite to work with, it would hands-down be Silly Girl. She's just so... silly.
Even though I'm both new and younger than her in age, I had to snap, "WAIT!" at her as I was taking an order from another waitress. She likes to interrupt you as you're taking orders for people in front of her, or shout, "and I need 2 Miller Lites and a margarita for me!" at you while your back is turned, making a Long Island Iced Tea. But if you're handling 2 waitresses at the same time and take money from, or finish an order for, another waitress before you get to her, she'll cry out, "heeeey-uh! I was fiiiiirst-uh!" She also spends ample time talking to her boyfriend on her cellphone in the bathroom.
Today, after Silly Girl related her latest drama to HWIC, HWIC turned to Li'l Mama and said, "she must think I'm her friend."
Fried.
QUOTES OF THE NIGHT (Yeah, I have two):
1. After surveying the scant scenery inside the club (there were only 5 girls on set; 3 in one set and 2 in another), a customer appealed to me:
"We need you up there."
That's some real Uncle Sam "I want YOU!" shit right there. Be all you can be! Take off your clothes!
2. After telling me it was her birthday and asking me to hook her up with some real strong Zombies, a customer told me she would hook up my tip jar in return. (Side note: bartenders DO NOT hook you up by putting extra alcohol in your drink. We can get fired for that. We just fiddle with the ratio of mixer-to-liquor and fill it up with more ice.)
"Ay!" she called out to me, making sure I saw her drop the money in my bucket. "I'm hookin you up."
$2 fell into my bucket.
Two dollars? Who the HELL do you think you're hookin up with that?
