I see so much that could be better, if only I ran things. The club where I work has so much potential to be even more of a gold mine than it is now. The bar could be turning over even more money, if only... (1) we took credit as well as cash. People tend not to realize how much they're spending when they're able to run up a tab. (2) We had an ATM. (3) The other bartenders worked at my pace. I'm not even trying to say that I'm the gold standard by which they should measure their speed, but really... I move twice as fast as they do and know more drinks as well. If they worked at my speed, the line could move faster and we could make more money. When you're able to manage the pace of the line you have more time to smile, chat people up and charm them into dropping some dollar signs on you.
It's really frustrating for me to be working at a nonstop pace and having my coworkers moving as though they haven't a care in the world. Um... do you see the line of 15 people in front of you? Oh, you do? Then why aren't you acting like it?! Why are you engaged in a conversation with each other, or worse, on your Blackberry? Make some damn drinks!
More Silliness from Silly Girl
I don't know why she thinks we all care about her life. And you know, maybe I would be more sympathetic to her plight (she dropped her phone, which she uses while taking extra long breaks in the bathroom to talk to her boyfriend) if she weren't so annoying. I wish she would get the memo we all keep trying to give her: (1) do NOT yell your orders at the bartender, (2) do NOT interrupt anyone else's order, (3) do NOT yell and whine at the same time, (4) do not ask to go home for some stupid reason or another, and (5) stop being so... STUPID.
She asked me for 3 shots of Jose Cuervo, but we were out, so I said, "I can't. We're out of Cuervo."
This silly girl goes, "why-eee?"
I gave a patient smile. "Because we don't have any more."
Tips for Interacting with Your Bartender
Apparently some people don't know how to act when they go out to the bar, so I'm going to give a few pointers:
- If you see that I'm handling another order (or 2 or 3), don't start getting visibly, dramatically, irritated. It only makes we want to prolong the time it takes me to get to you because I'm dreading the experience. Or I want to wait for someone else to handle your order. When you're working at as fast a pace as you can humanly manage, it's super annoying for someone to be up in your face huffing and puffing because they don't have a Corona in their hand when they want it.
- Do not wave money in front of my face. I AM NOT ONE OF PAVLOV'S DOGS. I HAVE NOT BEEN CONDITIONED TO RESPOND TO THE SIGHT OF WAVING MONEY WITH IMMEDIATELY DOING YOUR BIDDING. Do not put money in my hand when I'm not talking to/looking at you. YOU ARE CONFUSING ME AND THAT'S ONLY GOING TO MAKE ME ANGRY. Do not put money on the bar without telling me what it's there for. YOU ARE CONFUSING ME AND THAT'S ONLY GOING TO MAKE ME ANGRY.
- If you don't know what you want, it's okay to ask, "do you have a special drink you make?" or "I want something sweet/sour/strong." However, saying, "make me something nice," is just going to get you a Long Island, so you'd better be happy with that, because I don't know what the hell "something nice," is supposed to be.
News Alert: Li'l Bit's New Bits
Li'l Bit came in after close to show off her new breast implants (she proudly pulled her shirt up, just beaming like she'd won the lottery). The surgeon did a good job. I was kind-of disappointed though. Plastic surgery just makes me sad. *Shrug*
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:
"Are you gonna buy me a drink?" I asked one of my customers coyly.
"I don't see why not. I mean, I'm already throwin' like fifty ones at these stripper bitches and half of 'em are lesbians and the other half are bi-curious. I've bought myself 2 beers and I plan on gettin' DRUNK tonight. Why can't I show you some love too? You're the one hookin' me up."
Thank you! You get it, sir! You get it!
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