The Most Important Debriefing You Will Ever Get. In LIFE.

My bad ya'll... I completely forgot that I hadn't filled you in on some of the most important details about my blog and my life as a bartender.

The Origins of the Title: No Water After 9 PM

So, I was out at a party, doing my usual party girl thing, drinking a little more than I probably should've, dancing with a little harder than I probably should've (in a DRESS that I was told looked more like a nightgown), and someone asked me what I was drinking.

"Jack and Coke," I replied.  "You?"

"Water," he replied.

For whatever reason, I took it personally that he wasn't joining the rest of us in tipsy merriment.  "Water!?" I demanded.  "WATER!?"

He laughed.  "Yeah... water.  It's pretty good, actually."

I shook my head emphatically.  "NO.  WATER.  AFTER.  NINE.  PM."

And thus my trademark statement was born.

My Name

Is not Nikki.  However, my mother wanted to name me Nikki-Dana Vanessa. Gag.  (So glad my dad got his choice).  Sometimes, I like the sound of Nikki-Dana though, and it's the first name that comes to mind when men ask me "ay girl, what yo' name is?" at the club and I don't really want to answer.  So, Nikki is what I named my nighttime personality.  Nikki and I are the same person, she's just that much more.

My Place of Work

Okay, so I'm not using the real names of any of these places or anyone's real name, so every thing's going to be coded.  Got it?

From now on, my place of work is simply: The Club.  Simple, easy to remember.

My Coworkers

(Okay, you're not expected to remember all of these people, but use this list as a reference whenever they pop back up).

• The Waitresses

1. Accent - 'cause she got an accent.  Duh.
2. Sweetness - because she's really sweet
3. Grandame - 'cause she's older than the establishment itself
4. Flip - 'cause her hair is flipped and it looks cool
5. Silly Girl - self-explanatory
6. Twilight - because she was reading it when I started working and COULD NOT put it down.

• The Strippers  (do you know how hard it is to come up with aliases for people that already have them?!)

1. Pretty Jealous - she's really pretty, but she hates on me SO hard.
2. Mamacita - she speaks Spanish fluently
3. You Can't Handle It - she's always talking about how no one can handle her
4. Firecracker - she's very expressive
5. Li'l Bit - she's young, short, and tiny
6. Token - self explanatory
7. Dollface - she looks like a porcelain doll

• The Bar Managers
  

1. Big Sis - she's the big sister to one of the doormen
2. Hey Mama - she's not that much older than me, but she's such a little mom
3. HWIC - Head Woman In Charge (I refuse to refer to her as Bitch 'cause she's SO not).

• The Other Bartenders
  

1. Cinnamon - that's what her hair color reminds me of
2. Bubbles - she's bubbly

• The Owner
  

1. HMIC - Head Man In Charge  (He is NOT a Nigga.)

• The DJ

1. Awww Yeah - 'cause he says it so well

• The Doormen
  

1. Lungs - 'cause he's always loud for no reason
2. Snaggle - snaggle tooth
3. Initial - he only goes by one letter of his name
4. The Girl - self-explanatory
5. Holla - 'cause he's always tryin to get at me

• The Bar Backs
  

1. Dallas - 'cause he always wears a Cowboys jersey
2. Chill - he's really cool, very helpful, does his job without intrusion.  I like him.

• The Cleanup Crew/Drivers
  

1. King - inside joke
2. Tambourine - inside joke I overheard and don't know what it means

• The Food Delivery Men
  

1. Hunan - 'cause that's where he delivers the food from