Top Three Reasons Why I Hate Men

Okay, so I don't hate men.  In fact, I love them.  Sometimes I think I might love men a little too much.  (I'm workin on that.).  But no matter how much I love men, the fact remains that they cause problems.  So sometimes I pretend I hate them.

And here are my TOP 3 Reasons Why I Hate Men:

(All compiled while working behind the bar yesterday)

1.  THEY MAKE ME WANT TO FLIRT WITH THEM WHEN THEY'RE CUTE... AND UNAVAILABLE.

The guys that walked in with their girlfriends yesterday were JUST my type (physically, at least).  It makes me so mad when I want to flirt, but can't.  I'm a natural flirt; I really can't help it, but I know what's appropriate and what's not.  I'm also one of those women that goes into "lioness" mode when there's a man I want and another woman is around.  It's an animal instinct within me that just goes, "he's mine because I want him.  Bitch, begone!"  The rational part of me can control that pretty well, and if I can't control it, it usually just ends with me doing/saying something scene-stealing and over-the-top.  

So yeah, I HATE it when a guy falls into one of my type (yes, I have types: I like them Ralph Lauren Ad-ish with an edge or edgy Sean John model-lookin' with a code of honor and respect) and I can't do anything about it.  I also get lowkey jealous when the cute ones who flirt with me at the bar go look at the strippers.  It's irrational, but whatever.  

The one guy was clean-cut and preppy with edge and the other guy was tatted up with a rough-but-gentlemanly attitude.  And when he opened his mouth, oh-MY-God!, a BRITISH ACCENT popped out.  EVERYONE knows how much I FREAKING LOVE British accents.  Sigh.

Oh well.  It's not like I'm going to meet my next conquest behind the bar anyway.

2.  THEY ARE PARASITIC USERS WHO REMAIN IN A STAGE OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!!!

On a more serious note, my manager essentially broke up with her boyfriend.  She didn't want to, but he was taking too much away from her emotionally.  Going around with his ex (like to the grocery store... and she came to his uncle's funeral), all the while taking advantage of my manager.  She sent him a text saying that he could pick up his stuff from her house and that she couldn't take it anymore and he just said "ok."  After begging her not to leave him a couple of weeks ago.  I hate "confused" men.  Just be straight up.

I watched the pain on her face as she described the situation and found myself fighting back tears myself.  'Cause I've been there.  Not the same situation, of course, but the same emotional position.  Loving a Lost Boy.

"I was there for him to help him through tough situations.  I expected my ex-husband to hurt me; that was constant... but I never expected this from him.  I gave so much; I thought I meant too much to him for him to do this to me.  I never expected this.  If we were only supposed to be friends; if I was only supposed to be there to help him through his confusion over another woman... we should've never gotten into a relationship.  If I was only supposed to be his friend, I've wasted my time.  And I'm sitting here hurt.  I mean, I'm hurting."

And I know what it feels like to have your heart beating in your throat, feeling like you want to jump out of your skin because you have so much pain you don't feel like your body can take it.

"I feel like after two years we've reached a point with each other where we can be honest with each other.  If he wanted to be with her, he could've just said that.  I can't hurt any more than I already do.  If you want to leave, leave, so I can move on... but don't just string me along."

I don't think people realize that if they're doing something that could hurt someone, they can't avoid hurting them by not being explicit about what they're doing.  It hurts more to have someone implicitly lie to you than to have them be brutally honest.  It really does.

And from everything she's told me about her boyfriend, it seems like he's a user.  He uses women to take care of him and his kids, and moves between them, citing "a fear of commitment."  Personally, I think it's a fear of being dropped and deprived of his host once the woman discovers that he's not contributing anything to their lives.  I mean, she PAID BILLS for him.  Fuck that.

I told her, "a man will never grow up as long as he has a woman taking care of him."  I'm only 21 years old, but I've seen that over and over.  From his mama to his girl... if a man has not been forced to take care of himself, he will continue to USE whatever woman is there (because women tend to love to help damaged/childish men... that man is NOT your personal project and you can't save someone who won't save themselves) for as long as he can.

Realizing this, my manager began, "and he'll keep treating me like this..."

"...as long as YOU let him," I finished.

OWN your heart, ladies, and don't just give it away.  Make him work for it.  Treat yourself like you're special.

3.  THEY'RE WAY TOO SEXUALLY MOTIVATED.

Okay, so I'm not really one to talk (Lord, but I get into some schemes), but honestly... sex is not that important.  It shouldn't be the motivating factor behind every decision you make.

Really, men make me laugh and also make me pity them with how easily manipulated they are.  I watch how entranced they are by the dancers, women who are (1) lesbians (90% of the dancers in the club do not like men), (2) not going to have sex with them, and (3) only want their money.  I marvel at how much power men think they have and how little they actually do.

I'm disappointed at how stupid men can be when sex is on the table.  But whatever.  Keep spending your money.  Keep losing people who care about you.  Keep getting used by gold diggers.  Stay ignorant as you get your ego stroked.  Whatever.  

ASIDE: I know it's not ALL men, but it's enough so that this was all relevant.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:

One of the dancers had to get a ride home from Tambourine with me because she lost her keys.  With a sigh, she said:

"All I know is Mumbles better not have my keys.  I've heard he does that; it happened to one of the other girls.  He took her keys and rented out her car to people around the neighborhood.  He better not play that shit with me."

(Mumbles is one of the clean up men who work at the club).